Lessons I Learnt Under Canvas

Last week I embarked on an adventure. Okay, maybe adventure is too strong a word. But from the excitement I exhibited you could have believed that I was about the kayak down the Yukon or trek through the Grand Canyon. For the first time ever I went proper camping. By “proper camping” I mean not in a yurt or wigwam, i.e. “glamping”, and not in an easy pop-up tent in my friend’s garden with any mod-con I could possibly wish for within a few metres’ reach. By “proper camping” I mean canvas, guy ropes, tent poles, a camping stove, and a trek to the toilets and showers.

Sometimes if you really big something up in your head, the event itself can be a let-down, but that was certainly not the case when it came to this camping trip. I absolutely loved it. This doesn’t mean, however, that it went without a hitch.

Andrew is an experienced camper and, of course, this helped with the small details such as actually putting up the tent. Practical skills such as these are honed on repeated camping trips, but I feel that, even on my first expedition, camping provided me with some life lessons. So I thought I’d share them with you, just in case there are other camping rookies out there:

1. The tuneful trilling of skylarks is the most beautiful alarm clock in the world. It will make you feel ready for the day at any hour of the morning.

2. With patience, a trusty camping stove and a good supply of methylated spirits you can concoct surprisingly complicated recipes – no need for repeated meals of beans and egg.

3. Although, if you do fancy a meal of beans and egg and aren’t using a non-stick pan on your camping stove, do remember to bring a good scourer – scrambled egg has an amazing ability to take on the properties of cement when cooked in a trangia pan.

4. While on the subject of cooking, be very careful not to spill the meths on the floor under the camping stove – putting out even the smallest, most pathetic of grass fires is a stressful experience (in my case accompanied by flapping and Googling on my phone “how to put out a meths fire” – I could probably have worded that better, I got some pretty weird results).

5. Sunrises in the summer occur earlier than you may be willing to wake up, but sunsets are a must-see. The multiplicity of colours that streak, dapple and wash across the sky on an evening with a particularly show-stopping sunset are breathtaking. There’s no way you can miss your TV when nature is putting on such a spectacular show.

6. Sitting snuggled inside a tent at night when it is pouring down and blowing a gale outside is one of the cosiest experiences (assuming you’ve correctly secured your tent to the ground, of course).

7. However, if you wake up in the middle of the night cold and damp, something has probably gone wrong. In which case, a £2 tarpaulin from B&Q placed inside the tent under all your sleeping equipment is worth every penny as a quick fix.

8. You learn the true capacity of your bladder. When the choice in the middle of the night is either holding it in nestled inside your warm sleeping bag or trudging across a damp field in the wind and rain to the toilet block, you quickly realise where your priorities lie.

9. Seeing as you don’t have the regular distractions of modern life, you will notice nature’s wonderful quirks all the more easily. For example, woodpigeon display rituals. I never realised just how hilarious frisky woodpigeons are until this holiday. We would watch as the soap opera unfurled before us in the evenings. The best episode involved two male pigeons, let’s call them Bob and Esteban, and a female pigeon, let’s call her Betty. Now Bob was doing a pretty great job of wooing Betty, fluffing up his feathers, strutting around, generally showing her that he had some great genes that were worth sharing. That was until Esteban swept onto the scene, glistening with his emerald neck feathers, seducing her with his alluring cooing. I found myself rooting for Bob (I always support the underdog, or you know, underbird). Unfortunately, Esteban’s charisma was just too powerful and following a short tussle between our male leads, the protagonist, Bob, was sent off into the sunset without his leading lady. As you can probably tell, I might have been drawn into this a little bit too much.

There were a couple of mishaps, but they were far outweighed by the sheer magic of sleeping with just a thin sheet of canvas separating us from the stars.

Camping truly allows you to get back in touch with nature by letting its daily cycle dictate your waking and sleeping hours, by listening to its every sound, and by experiencing its every touching and invigorating moment.